To whom it concerns.

Dear whoever the fuck we pray to.

God, Buddha, Bharma, Vishnu, Siven, Jesus Christ. WHOEVER THE FUCK.

Tell me, Tell me please cause I'm begging.

Why? Why on earth would you take my dog away from me?

You know. I really think, she loved me. . Actually I know she loved me. I know she loved the expensive dog food I fed her, her foam bed, all her cute shirts she wore.

Now you're leaving me to put these things away in a fucking box when thats not even what I wanted. I spent an amazing evening with my boyfriend. Stayed In a nice hotel, and went to a nice dinner. I stopped, I saw my family who I love, and now realize how important they are to me now that I have lost something so dear to me.

Then I come home, to find my one true love, the one thing that loved me unconditionally to be gone from me. Just laying there comfortably waiting for her mama to get home.

What can I do?

I took her to the vet, I fed her everyday; the good food. I played with her, snuggled her, loved her, took her on roadtrips everywhere. Took her to the rivers, to chuckanut, to Lowries.. I had to adjust my life to owning a dog, and now I have to adjust my life to being alone. No, Im not alone, I have all my friends and family, and all the people I care about, but what I want is my fucking dog back.

It feels weird walking into my house, knowing shes not going to be waiting by the kitchen door for me like she ALWAYS was. Its weird knowing that, and then also knowing shes now burried in the garden. What? Am I never going to move out of my house now because one of my best friends are in the back yard, now do I have to vacuum up all her random dog hair in my car, and on the couches.. where do I put her dog bed? Do I throw it away, do I give it away? Do I get another dog?

Probably not, because if you knew Emma, you'd know shes irreplaceable, and I'm never going to find another dog like her.

I've heard and I know, that yes.. I gave her an awesome last almost 2 years..

I know that she loved me, and I know I really loved her.

I know that things come and go, and "everything happens for a reason" supposedly and allegedly. But really? Why?

I just want my dog back, I want to snuggle my snuggle buggle. I want to call her all her nicknames she came to. I want to go to my house and for it to feel normal.

I just have to ask myself, what did I do, that this is my bad karma for?

And couldnt you have taken something else I care about.

I care about alot of things, but I never thought this would be the one to go.

I woulda understood if she was 10 years or 15 years old.

But 5? Come on, she was my baby. All my friends have kids, and dogs, and whatever that they have. I had Emma.

Do I change my blog name? I mean its fucking saraemma for gods sake.

Do I change the passwords that had her name in them?

I guess I'll just go on loving her forever and looking for another soul mate.

She'll be a hard one to replace, and actually she'll never be "replaced" she'll forever be in my heart and thoughts.

I really wish I could just put up a road block in my head and forget that I ever had the most awesome dog in the world So that I wouldnt be as upset about it as I am. I just want to stop crying and move on with time, I dont want my house to feel weird.. I want to to feel normal.

And I am sure LR feels them same way since all I have done for the last 2 days is hog the bed, and the tissue and cry my eyes out for hours.

I must have lost 10lbs in tears.

But after all of this what I can say.

Emma. I loved you. I still love you, And I always will love you.

I might move on, I might get another dog. I may never get another dog.

Im so thankful for the time we had together, and I am extremely devistated that it had to end so soon. I wanted to have you until you became an old crotchity gramma dog. But since I couldnt. I hope that you're up there chasing rabbits with Weiser, and Ruby. .and any other dog I loved that is gone now. You were the best dog I have had, and you will probably forever be the best dog I ever will have. You were my top notch lover. I love you snuggle buggle, Emma Bemma, sweetheart, hunny, lover.

I'll never forget you, and I will always miss you.

Goodbye for now. And Until we meet again.

Love you Emma!!